Ryoga's Chicago Troubles
by Crlsniper
Summary: Watch As our Favorite lost boy who turns into a pig ends up at the Univerity Of Chicago
1. Chapter 1

Author Notes/Disclaimer thing

Well here's my first story to be published, trying to create a comedy story of sorts(I'll explain more at the end) and should have several strange factors I will be trying to add in. Now for the disclaimer part, me no own Ranma ½ nor I its creator, and don't hold any rights to the places the this story takes place in. Also I neither speak nor live in Japan so I would expect problems with the names or words, just point them out in reviews if you want. So without further a due I give you…

Ch.1 The Lost

A tall, almost pale man walked outside the gates of the university. He wore a large raincoat and carried a dark wooden box by a handle. Glancing up, he noticed the rain was about to start falling and decided he had better hurry up. Just as he was about to start running down the walk, a hand tapped his back. He turned around slightly annoyed to see a strange boy wearing a yellow bandana and a heavy looking backpack. "Um, excuse me, would you happen to know where Furinkan High is?" the boy asked with a nervous bow. The man blinked in confusion and said in English, "What did you just say?"

"Furinkan High in Nerima, can you tell me which way it is?" the boy said, switching over to English. The man just blinked again and then suddenly got extremely angry. "**Why on earth are you asking me that for? Nerima is in Japan, you Dolt; we're in the USA. This**… he pointed at the wall, **is the University of Chicago. Now get out of my sight. I don't have time for this foolishness.**" The boy looked like he was about to punch the man when suddenly, a loud crack of lightning sounded and the boy's face turned a pale white. Then, he turned and ran into the campus in a panicked rush, all the while trying to remove a large red umbrella attached to his pack.

The man watched him run inside the campus walls and was about to give chase when he felt the first few raindrops from the storm hit his head.

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Inside the school's boundary, a small black piglet with a yellow bandana tied around its neck was angrily squealing as it tried to get out from under a heavy wet backpack that lay on top of him. 'Great', the boy turned piglet thought to himself, 'when did I cross the Pacific and end up in America again? Curse that Saotome Ranma. This is probably his fault!' He finally succeeded in getting out from under the pack and stopped as he noticed the two girls with umbrellas that had been watching him during his plight. Then, the one on the left spoke, "I wonder who would have left such a cute piglet trapped like that in the rain: it's inhumane." The other girl looked at her friend with a bored and slightly nervous look and said, "Who cares? We've wasted enough time already! Professor Conner is already mad at us for that prank we pulled on his doll last week. I don't want to push it by being late to class again."

"Yeah, you're right Rachel, Professor Conner really freaks me out when he's mad and starts using that ventriloquist dummy; but we just can't leave this little guy here. He'll get stepped on or catch a cold or something worse," commented the first girl while sadly looking at the little black piglet, who at this point was trying to drag the pack away from the girls as fast as his body would allow.

"I don't know Julie, I think we should leave it alone; bring him if you want, but you know he won't let that pig into the classroom," Rachel said, as she watched the piglet still trying to pull the big pack away from them without much success, she shivered. "Plus that pig is starting to creep me out."

Julie kneeled down and pulled the pig from the backpack and hugged him very close to her chest, at which point the pig promptly fainted. "He's soaking wet, poor guy and I think he must have fainted from exhaustion. Did you know pigs fainted?" she asked with a concerned look in her eyes.

"Well, just put it in your bag, Julie. We're late enough as it is," Rachel said, as she started heading off down the walkway. "Don't worry; it will wake up fine-_with luck after class is over_," she added under her breath. Both girls started to run as the rain came down in heavy sheets again.

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"All pencils down and pass your papers to the end of the row." The sound of Number 2 pencils could be heard writing as the students quickly tried to put down that last little bit. "He said, the test was over," a dummy sitting on a chair next to the professor squeaked.

The students dropped their pencils with a start and quickly started passing the papers down the rows. At the back of the room, two slightly wet girls carefully snuck in and crept to their spots.

"Ah Miss Rachel and Miss Julie, it appears you missed the good professor's pop quiz," the dummy said. This was surprising, since both it and the body it was connected to had their eyes closed the whole time the two had been in the room. Both girls then stood up where they had been sneaking. Rachel, nervously putting a hand behind her head, said, "Um, well professor you see we sort of ran into a little roadblock on the way here and the rain didn't help much."

"Sit down!" Conner said, standing up from his seat. A small smirk could be seen coming from the dummy's face. The two girls quickly sat down in their seats as Professor Conner turned to the board. "Now, if there will be no more interruptions, I would like to begin with today's lesson, a fanciful explanation of the Pythagorean Theorem. To start…" At that moment, a loud squeal echoed through the room. Professor Conner turned around, dummy in hand, and stared straight at the two girls who were helplessly trying to silence something in a bag between them.

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Meanwhile, in a small dojo in Nerima, Tokyo, a pigtailed teenage boy wearing a red Chinese outfit was haft heartedly sparring a dark blue haired girl wearing a gi. He suddenly stopped and thought out loud, "Hey, you know what? Ryoga has not tried to attack me in over two months. I don't remember him even being here." The girl stopped her attempts to hit him and appeared to be thinking too.

"You're right," she said at last. "He hasn't been around at all and neither has P-chan, come to think of it." The boy rolled his eyes at the name, mentally kicking himself for keeping his promise to not tell her who her pet pig and also his rival really was. "I know," she said perking up. "I'll make some pig food and see if Pchan will smell it and come back."

Suddenly, fearing for the safety of his rival and that of the local animal populations, he awkwardly said, "Hey Akane, Maybe you should ask Shampoo or Ucchan to cook the food. You wouldn't want to accidently kill him with food poisoning." Before he realized his mistake, the angry girl in front of him grabbed the nearest object, which happened to be a wooden mallet, and came at him screaming. "RANMA, YOU BAKA!"

Outside on a porch overlooking a small koi pond, a panda and a man were playing a game of Shogi. When all of a sudden, they heard a loud crash followed by a pigtail haired boy flying from the dojo. "Uncute, tomboy!" they heard him scream, as he fell into the streets of Nerima on the other side of the boundary wall. The panda noticed his friend's distraction and sneakily turned the game board 180 degrees. The man turned back with a sigh and the two resumed their game as if nothing had happened.

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Ryoga awoke and peered around the dark space as he tried to recall what had happened and where on earth he was now. Then remembering where he had been before he blacked out, he gave a shocked squeal and nearly fainted again. Before he could the roof of the room came down like a hand emerging from darkness. He quickly moved away in the small space as another object came down on him again. Hoping to put up a better defense against his attackers he tried to get to a back corner of his cotton room. He quickly found himself lost and ended up next to an entrance sealed with a zipper. Trying to open it before he was chased again he was shocked when the zipper started to open on its own. Rushing at the hole being made before he lost his chance, both literally and figuratively, Ryoga made a jump through the opening.

He was rewarded by having his head sticking out of what he could tell was a school book bag and the rest of him stuck inside said bag. Looking up, he could see the two girls from before surrounded by several collage students. Who were all staring at him with jaws dropped.

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Author Notes

Well sadly that's the end of ch. 1 if you reader laughed at least once during any of this story then I'll count it a success (hopefully you laughed more than just once though).

So first off let me explain where this story is coming from and why I added a few key parts noted here (# 2 pencils, a Ventriloquist, the fanciful explanation of the Pythagorean Theorem, and the university of Chicago). Well, it's quite simple, those were only a few of the items and constrains (more I will add as the story proceeds) for a school essay I needed to write. I liked what I had written and have been adding more. Sadly I do not have the paper with all the constraints and items on it with me at the moment, (woot love Vegas) but ill add them in the notes of the next chapter. Mostly since I like the idea of having a story around these constraints.

Also the biggest constraint was this story has to be a comedy of some kind, so if you've had a laugh so far hope you review and keep an eye out for the next chapter. I've already started writing it and lets just say there will be another character from Ranma to add to the already madness of Ryoga's current situation.

Well have a great night (or day) and God bless


	2. Chapter 2

Author Notes/ Disclaimer

Well after seeing the much less evil and extremely hilarious ventriloquist Terry Fator last night I'd came back to work on this next chapter. So note I do not own Ranma ½ , wouldn't know what to do if I did, also I don't own property in Chicago or have ever been there. So Live from the incredible windy and fairly sinful city of Las Vegas, Nevada I bring you…(Drum Roll sounds)

Ch. 2 Mr. Ruderic

Shampoo had expected this day to be exactly the same as all the other days at the boring American collage. The Chinese Amazonian had hoped that by coming to the Chicago American University she would learn something thing that would finally get her future husband Ranma to love her and secure him for herself and the tribe. But as she set down her pencil, a No. 2 to be exact, after doing another boring pop quiz, did she sense things where about to become interesting. Shampoo watched quietly as the two students she had only met briefly before sneak into the room to only be caught and scold at by the creepy doll man. As she continued to watch them she noticed the bag in between them start to move. She watched as all chaos broke loose, enjoying the action going on in the bag.

Shampoo nearly fell out of her seat when she saw a black piglet with a yellow bandana poke his head out. 'Why Lost Boy here.' Shampoo thought recovering somewhat. 'Is that Lost Boy?' She looked at the piglet again in the eyes and knew for sure it was him as she had yet to see another pig with eyes as big and human looking as his eyes were now. Smirking, she watched the other students start to recover but to first to speak was Creepy Doll Man.

"Miss Julie, may I ask what you have that is currently disturbing my excellent teaching?" The girl in question tensed and slowly turned her head to look at the teacher who was now standing in front of her desk with an very annoyed look on his face.

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Ryoga had started to recover and tried to get a good view of his surroundings and froze again as he saw the light blue haired Amazonian with an evil looking smirk staring directly at him. 'Shampoo, no why is shampoo here, unless I'm not…' that idea of still being in Japan left him as he looked around at the faces of the people around him. 'Now what, does she know who I am? Can she help me?' Again one look at her face told him his answer to all his questions and he didn't like them.

He turned to try to focus on what was currently going on above him, all the while keeping an eye on shampoo. Ryoga did a double take as he noticed the man from before standing above him, but this time carrying a large wooden puppet instead of a box. As the puppet stared at him with a face similar to shampoo's current grin. The girl from before 'Julie?' started to speak "Well Professor we had found this piglet out in the rain and I couldn't leave him. He had, um, fallen asleep when I brought him in." Off on the side of the room shampoo's grin grew at that last bit of info.

Conner leaned over with a scold, the puppet haft heartedly mimicking him. "I do not care for excuses and from what you say; you won't mind me taking this little pest off your hands. How about a nice Pork Roast for dinner tonight, Mr. Ruderic." Conner said looking over to his puppet who grinned back up with a hungry look. Before either of the girls could do anything he reached over and pulled Ryoga out of the bag and held him up for inspection. "Bit on the small side, but he'll do." Ruderic commented as he watched the pig squirm wildly in his owner's free hand.

With all his force he could muster in the small body, Ryoga turned and sank his sharp teeth into his captor's hand. "AHHH! Why that no good piece of filth." He cursed dropping Ryoga. Rachel reached out and grabbed the falling pig before he hit the floor and handed him to Julie. Who quickly held him close to her chest again for protection as she stared up at the screaming man in front of her. Ruderic gave out a loud cackle as he watched the Professor shake his hand trying to get the pain to stop. Both the Amazonian and the pig winced as the sound reminded them of an equally horrible laugh, one that was thankfully on the other side of the world at that time.

Finally calming down professor Conner turned and Glowered at the pig who was glowering right back up at him. " I want both of you and that, THING, of yours out of my class, now and if I ever see him in here again we will see what the headmaster has to say." Conner yelled as he pointed toward the exit door of the room.

Both Girls looked at each other for a second and then quickly grabbed their stuff and hurried out of the room, the other students cheering them on and made comments as they passed by. With all the confusion nobody notice the new Amazonian exchange student sneak out of the room through another door.

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Shampoo quietly made her way out of the room and walked over to a payphone on the campus. She quickly dialed in a number and waited as the phone rang. Finally someone picked up and asked "Hello?" Shampoo responded in mandarin "Great-Grandmother, you won't believe who has just showed up today in class."

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Back over in Japan, a teenage boy and girl walked down a street next to an old water cannel. The boy looked over at the girl in deep thought or what he called deep thought anyway. "Hey, Akane, you know who else seems to be missing?"

"No, who?" Akane looked over at Ranma with slight interest.

"Well, I don't think Shampoo has shown up around here for e couple of weeks now." Ranma looked around as if expecting to be run over by the Amazonian at any moment.

"What, you starting to miss her groping on to you every other day?" Akane angrily said as Ranma started backing away from her.

"Wait, I didn't mean it like that Akane. I just meant that"*Slpash* Akane stopped her approach and nearly busted out laughing at the short wet red hair girl in front of her. The girl scold at the ground as an elderly woman continued to throw water on her, seemingly unaware to what was going on.

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At the Tendo Residence an old decrypted man jumped up onto the Go board ruining the current game going on. "Master!" Both Tendo and Soatome screeched as they bowed before ( . "My Students, I have great news. I have decide to take your training to the next level." Both just looked at each other then Tendo asked. " What do you mean master?"

Happy looked down at his disciple with a mischievous grim and said, "Boys, pack your bags, where going to Vegas!"

Sorry I'm just to lazy to go get his normal Name, maybe later.

ME VERY LATE NOTES

Ok so truthfully I had this done a week after the last chapter and I blame 3 things for me not getting this up until now. First, school, there's no particular reason I just like blaming the place :). 2nd I started trying to learn Japanese right after getting back. I do believe I'm doing ok so far, that's saying a lot considering I've already been banned from the Language of Spanish. Now the 3rd and most important reason is I'm just plain lazy. So not much more to say there, but you can thank the last reviewers for getting me to finally get this finished and up so yay.

Well God Bless and Konbon wa


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